He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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