I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think i got beer on your cat.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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