i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
