There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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