actually, I'm a sock model
420 ftw
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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