Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the day after is always just damage control
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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