Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
