we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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