Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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