Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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