sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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