There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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