Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize