Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
