soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
