Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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