new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
