She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
