We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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