either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
