Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
