would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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