I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
