we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
