im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
