i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
