I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
