Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
