hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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