Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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