i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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