We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
