I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
