How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
