yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
How naked do you want me to be?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
