we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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