Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
