After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
