Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
