I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
