ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Randomize
