you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I want to stick my p in your. b.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
