Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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