90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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