ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
