Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
