meet me or not, i'm out of control
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
