What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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