I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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