i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
