I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
